Somebody Get Him A Doctor!

FROM EDDIE
March 8, 2007

"I would like Van Halen fans to know how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Without you there is no Van Halen.

I have always and will always feel a responsibility to give you my best. At the moment I do not feel that I can give you my best. That’s why I have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility to work on myself, so that in the future I can deliver the 110% that I feel I owe you and want to give you.

Some of the issues surrounding the 2007 Van Halen tour are within my ability to change and some are not. As far as my rehab is concerned, it is within my ability to change and change for the better. I want you to know that is exactly what I’m doing, so that I may continue to give you the very best I am capable of.

I look forward to seeing you in the future better than ever and I thank you with all my heart.

Love, Ed"

Well at least this statement finally explains the photo, doesn't it? Neither Eddie nor David Lee Roth are expected to attend the band's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Monday in New York. Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony who ironically were not a part of the recently canceled Van Halen reunion tour will be there to represent the band.

For Your Consideration:
Van Halen - Somebody Get Me A Doctor Mp3


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Friday Afternoon Funnies: Little Donny Disease

Typically here at Totally Claimin, Friday Afternoon is reserved for "Friday Afternoon Funnies." Normally I would say something like "It's four thirty in the afternoon. You've done your week's work, and there's still an hour and a half to kill before you go home for the weekend. Throw on your headphones and kill some time with Totally Claimin's "Friday Afternoon Funnies!" The boss won't know. And you'll be thankful for it! Today's funny is an episode of..."

Well not this week. This week my claimers, I'd like you to take a moment to learn about Magnimus-Obliviophallocytis, otherwise known as Little Donny Disease. It is a hereditary disease, it's main symptom being enlarged genitalia that the sufferer is not aware of. This disease has no cure, but with your help, we can find one. There are many things you can do to help in the fight against Little Donny Disease. Sign the electronic petition that is being sent to the government and the press in order to raise awareness of the disease. Together we can find a cure. Till then, watch Little Donny's story above.

And Since I don't want your afternoon to be an entire downer, check out this funny sketch from "The Upright Citizens Brigade." The show, which originally aired on Comedy Central, was about "The Upright Citizens Brigade", an underground organization "with no government ties and unlimited resources" dedicated to creating and monitoring chaos from their secure underground base. It starred Matt Besser, Amy Poehler (who went on to SNL), Ian Roberts (the choreographer from "Bring It On"), and Matt Walsh (The Daily Show). Enjoy this sketch, then seriously, watch the Little Donny documentary and then perhaps do what you can to try to stop this epidemic. Thank you.

The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Presents:The Definitive 200?

Well, they really did it now. Supposedly these are the best 200 albums you should have in your own collection. Unveiled earlier this week, the "Definitive 200" list was compiled by a committee of music retailers co-sponsored by the US National Association of Recording Merchandisers (NARM) and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. "They looked for what makes a classic album," said Jim Donio, president of NARM. "Our members chose the albums that have consistently excited record buyers over the years and those that have the potential for continued success based on enduring popularity. Some of them are recognizable landmark albums, while others are very new by contemporary artists. We have Pop, Country, R&B, Rock, Rap, Punk, Jazz, Soul, Reggae, and more. Hopefully, the inevitable debate about the 200 must-own albums will underscore just how much the music and the art form mean to everyone."

...And debate they will. Personally, I have a few questions, like how in the hell did Linkin Park, Creed, and Kid Rock get on here? How does Green Day rank above The Clash? Supernatural at #13? Wait, is that right? SUPERNATURAL? Unless you're planning a halftime show somewhere, who the fuck is listening to that album anymore?

If that ain't the biggest tragedy, then the album at #27 has gotta be it with Norah Jones and her snoozer "Come Away With Me." Sure, ok, yeah, it had that one song that was good. I like dancing to "Don't Know Why" at weddings just as much as the next person who can't get laid, but #27? Look what's just below it, Miles Davis "Kind Of Blue," the quintessential jazz album, and Guns N Roses "Appetite For Destruction," the album that singlehandedly killed hair metal. You mean to tell me that Norah's album will stand the test of time as compared to those two examples? Jesus, I just had to reread my last couple of sentences I just wrote to remember what friggin album I was even talking about! (I don't know why, it's that forgettable.)

I think I just figured out this list. Is Dick Clark producing an ABC Television special about this thing? It would explain so much if he is. This wreaks of Dick.

And come on, no greatest albums of all time list would be complete without Styx on it, am I right claimers? Who's with me? Doobie Brothers? No? Wait, ummm...

Read the list for yourself, drop me a claim and let me know what ya think. For your consideration, check out some mp3's from selected albums on this site, or head over to amazon.com for their special section highlighting the list.

Top 200 albums of all time:

1 BEATLES SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND 1967 Rock

2 PINK FLOYD DARK SIDE OF THE MOON 1973 Rock

3 MICHAEL JACKSON THRILLER 1982 Pop

4 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN IV 1971 Rock

5 U2 THE JOSHUA TREE 1987 Rock

6 ROLLING STONES EXILE ON MAIN STREET 1972 Rock

7 CAROLE KING TAPESTRY 1971 Adult Contemporary

8 BOB DYLAN HIGHWAY 61 REVISITED 1965 Rock

9 BEACH BOYS PET SOUNDS 1966 Rock (Part 1)
BEACH BOYS PET SOUNDS 1966 Rock (Part 2)

10 NIRVANA NEVERMIND 1991 Rock

11 PEARL JAM TEN 1991 Rock

12 BEATLES ABBEY ROAD 1969 Rock

13 SANTANA SUPERNATURAL 1999 Rock

14 METALLICA METALLICA 1991 Rock

15 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BORN TO RUN 1975 Rock

16 PRINCE PURPLE RAIN 1984 Pop

17 AC/DC BACK IN BLACK 1980 Rock

18 ROLLING STONES LET IT BLEED 1969 Rock

19 DOORS THE DOORS 1967 Rock

20 GRATEFUL DEAD AMERICAN BEAUTY 1970 Rock

21 SHANIA TWAIN COME ON OVER 1997 Country

22 WHO WHO’S NEXT 1971 Rock

23 STEVIE WONDER SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE 1976 R&B

24 FLEETWOOD MAC RUMOURS 1977 Pop

25 PINK FLOYD THE WALL 1979 Rock

26 ALANIS MORISSETTE JAGGED LITTLE PILL 1995 Pop

27 NORAH JONES COME AWAY WITH ME 2002 Pop

28 EMINEM THE MARSHALL MATHERS LP 2000 Rap

29 OUTKAST SPEAKERBOXX-LOVE BELOW 2003 R&B

30 DR. DRE THE CHRONIC 1992 Rap

31 BEASTIE BOYS LICENSED TO ILL 1986 Rap

32 GUNS N’ ROSES APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION 1987 Rock

33 DIXIE CHICKS WIDE OPEN SPACES 1998 Country

34 MILES DAVIS KIND OF BLUE 1959 Jazz

35 EAGLES HOTEL CALIFORNIA 1976 Rock

36 DEF LEPPARD HYSTERIA 1987 Rock

37 SOUNDTRACK: GREASE 1978 Soundtrack

38 MARVIN GAYE WHAT’S GOING ON 1971 R&B

39 BEATLES THE WHITE ALBUM 1968 Rock

40 SOUNDTRACK: SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER 1977 Soundtrack

41 JIMI HENDRIX ARE YOU EXPERIENCED? 1967 Rock

42 BEATLES REVOLVER 1966 Rock

43 BOSTON BOSTON 1976 Rock

44 BON JOVI SLIPPERY WHEN WET 1986 Rock

45 U2 ACHTUNG BABY 1991 Rock

46 WHITNEY HOUSTON WHITNEY HOUSTON 1985 R&B

47 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN II 1969 Rock

48 DAVE MATTHEWS BAND CRASH 1996 Rock

49 ROLLING STONES STICKY FINGERS 1971 Rock

50 GREEN DAY DOOKIE 1994 Rock

51 LED ZEPPELIN HOUSES OF THE HOLY 1973 Rock

52 JONI MITCHELL BLUE 1971 Rock

53 ELVIS PRESLEY ELVIS PRESLEY AT SUN 2004 Rock

54 AEROSMITH TOYS IN THE ATTIC 1975 Rock

55 LAURYN HILL THE MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL 1998 R&B

56 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BORN IN THE U.S.A. 1984 Rock

57 50 CENT GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN’ 2003 Rap

58 AC/DC HIGHWAY TO HELL 1979 Rock

59 NOTORIOUS B.I.G. LIFE AFTER DEATH 1997 Rap

60 VAN HALEN VAN HALEN 1978 Rock

61 GREEN DAY AMERICAN IDIOT 2004 Rock

62 BLACK SABBATH PARANOID 1971 Rock

63 EMINEM THE EMINEM SHOW 2002 Rap

64 JEWEL PIECES OF YOU 1995 Pop

65 COLDPLAY A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD 2002 Pop

66 MEAT LOAF BAT OUT OF HELL 1977 Rock

67 USHER CONFESSIONS 2004 R&B

68 KID ROCK DEVIL WITHOUT A CAUSE 1998 Rock

69 GEORGE HARRISON ALL THINGS MUST PASS 1970 Pop (Part 1)
GEORGE HARRISON ALL THINGS MUST PASS 1970 Pop (Part 2)
GEORGE HARRISON ALL THINGS MUST PASS 1970 Pop (Part 3)

70 BILLY JOEL THE STRANGER 1977 Pop

71 EAGLES HELL FREEZES OVER 1994 Rock

72 VAN MORRISON MOONDANCE 1970 Rock

73 R.E.M. AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE 1992 Pop

74 PHIL COLLINS NO JACKET REQUIRED 1985 Pop

75 METALLICA MASTER OF PUPPETS 1986 Rock

76 FAITH HILL BREATHE 1999 Country

77 JOHNNY CASH AT FOLSOM PRISON 1968 Country

78 JOHN COLTRANE A LOVE SUPREME 1964 Jazz

79 PINK FLOYD WISH YOU WERE HERE 1975 Rock

80 MICHAEL JACKSON OFF THE WALL 1979 Pop

81 MARVIN GAYE LET’S GET IT ON 1973 R&B

82 BOB SEGER NIGHT MOVES 1976 Rock

83 PAUL SIMON GRACELAND 1986 Pop

84 LINKIN PARK HYBRID THEORY 2000 Rock

85 PRINCE 1999 1983 Pop

86 DEF LEPPARD PYROMANIA 1983 Rock

87 JANET JACKSON CONTROL 1986 R&B

88 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK 1991 Rock (Part 1)
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK 1991 Rock (Part 2)

89 DIRE STRAITS BROTHERS IN ARMS 1985 Rock

90 TUPAC ALL EYEZ ON ME 1996 Rap

91 MATCHBOX TWENTY YOURSELF OR SOMEONE LIKE YOU 1996 Pop

92 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS CALIFORNICATION 1999 Rock

93 LED ZEPPELIN PHYSICAL GRAFFITI 1975 Rock (Part1)
LED ZEPPELIN PHYSICAL GRAFFITI 1975 Rock (Part 2)

94 NELLY COUNTRY GRAMMAR 2000 Rap

95 CREED HUMAN CLAY 1999 Rock (Part 1)
CREED HUMAN CLAY 1999 Rock (Part 2)

96 CLASH LONDON CALLING 1979 Rock

97 CELINE DION FALLING INTO YOU 1996 Adult Contemporary

98 NEIL YOUNG HARVEST 1972 Rock

99 SOUNDTRACK: DIRTY DANCING 1987 Soundtrack

100 DIXIE CHICKS HOME 2002 Country

101 TOM PETTY FULL MOON FEVER 1989 Rock

102 VAN HALEN 1984 1984 Rock

103 SOUNDTRACK: TITANIC 1997 Soundtrack

104 CROSBY STILLS & NASH DEJA VU 1970 Rock

105 TLC CRAZYSEXYCOOL 1999 R&B

106 BECK ODELAY 1994 Rock

107 KENNY G BREATHLESS 1992 Adult Contemporary

108 NWA STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON 1989 Rap

109 SEX PISTOLS NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS 1977 Rock

110 BEATLES RUBBER SOUL 1965 Rock

111 RADIOHEAD O.K. COMPUTER 1993 Rock

112 SIMON & GARFUNKEL BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER 1970 Pop

113 DIXIE CHICKS FLY 1999 Country

114 METALLICA AND JUSTICE FOR ALL 1988 Rock

115 MICHAEL JACKSON DANGEROUS 1992 Pop

116 MARIAH CAREY DAYDREAM 1995 Pop

117 SOUNDTRACK: TOP GUN 1986 Soundtrack

118 ELTON JOHN GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD 1973 Pop

119 POLICE SYNCHRONICITY 1983 Rock

120 NO DOUBT TRAGIC KINGDOM 1995 Pop

121 ROLLING STONES BEGGARS BANQUET 1968 Rock

122 R KELLY R 1998 R&B

123 TOOL LATERALUS 2001 Rock

124 OASIS WHAT’S THE STORY MORNING GLORY 1995 Rock

125 BOB MARLEY EXODUS 1977 Reggae

126 JOURNEY ESCAPE 1981 Rock

127 CHRISTINA AGUILERA CHRISTINA AGUILERA 1999 Pop

128 JAY-Z BLUEPRINT 2001 Rap

129 ALICIA KEYS DIARY OF ALICIA KEYS 2003 R&B

130 SOUNDTRACK: O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? 2000 Soundtrack

131 CARS THE CARS 1978 Pop

132 ENYA DAY WITHOUT RAIN 2000 Adult Contemporary

133 NATALIE COLE UNFORGETTABLE: WITH LOVE 1991 R&B

134 SOUNDTRACK: FOOTLOOSE 1984 Soundtrack

135 LIONEL RICHIE CAN’T SLOW DOWN 1983 Pop

136 SARAH MCLACHLAN SURFACING 1997 Adult Contemporary

137 BONNIE RAITT NICK OF TIME 1989 Rock

138 METALLICA RIDE THE LIGHTNING 1984 Rock

139 SHERYL CROW TUESDAY NIGHT MUSIC CLUB 1993 Pop

140 FRANK SINATRA IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS 1954 Standards

141 EARTH WIND & FIRE GRATITUDE 1975 R&B

142 ZZ TOP ELIMINATOR 1983 Rock

143 WILLIE NELSON RED HEADED STRANGER 1975 Country

144 JOHN LENNON IMAGINE 1971 Rock

145 TONI BRAXTON TONI BRAXTON 1993 R&B

146 ETTA JAMES AT LAST 1961 Blues

147 ELVIS PRESLEY ELVIS PRESLEY 1956 Rock

148 CAT STEVENS TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN 1970 Pop

149 SMASHING PUMPKINS MELLON COLLIE & THE INFINITE SADNESS 1995 Rock

150 DAVE BRUBECK TIME OUT 1959 Jazz

151 JANET JACKSON JANET 1993 R&B

152 QUEEN A NIGHT AT THE OPERA 1975 Rock

153 OZZY OSBOURNE BLIZZARD OF OZZ 1980 Rock

154 WILL SMITH BIG WILLIE STYLE 1997 Rap

155 PRINCE SIGN O’ THE TIMES 1987 Pop

156 PUBLIC ENEMY IT TAKES A NATION OF MILLIONS TO HOLD US BACK 1988 Rap

157 BOB DYLAN BLOOD ON THE TRACKS 1975 Rock

158 GEORGE MICHAEL FAITH 1987 Pop

159 BOYZ II MEN COOLEYHIGHHARMONY 1993 R&B

160 DESTINY’S CHILD WRITING’S ON THE WALL 1999 R&B

161 JAY-Z THE BLACK ALBUM 2003 Rap

162 AVRIL LAVIGNE LET GO 2002 Pop

163 FUGEES THE SCORE 1996 R&B

164 MADONNA LIKE A VIRGIN 1984 Pop

165 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN 1969 Rock

166 STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN TEXAS FLOOD 1983 R&B

167 STONE TEMPLE PILOTS CORE 1992 Rock

168 ORIGINAL CAST: PHANTOM OF THE OPERA 1988 Cast Album

169 JETHRO TULL AQUALUNG 1971 Rock

170 TUPAC ME AGAINST THE WORLD 1995 Rap

171 DAVID BOWIE THE RISE AND FALL OF ZIGGY STARDUST 1972 Rock

172 SHAKIRA LAUNDRY SERVICE 1998 Pop

173 SOUNDTRACK: FORREST GUMP 1994 Soundtrack

174 AL GREEN CALL ME 1973 R&B

175 CURTIS MAYFIELD SUPERFLY 1972 R&B

176 LIVE THROWING COPPER 1994 Rock

177 GEORGE BENSON BREEZIN’ 1976 Jazz

178 WHITE STRIPES WHITE BLOOD CELLS 2001 Rock

179 LYNYRD SKYNYRD PRONOUNCED LEH-NERD SKIN-ERD 1973 Rock

180 SADE DIAMOND LIFE 1984 Adult Contemporary

181 FLEETWOOD MAC FLEETWOOD MAC 1975 Pop

182 PAUL MCCARTNEY & WINGS BAND ON THE RUN 1973 Rock

183 BEYONCE DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE 2003 R&B

184 ANITA BAKER RAPTURE 1986 R&B

185 NAS ILLMATIC 1994 Rap

186 BARBRA STREISAND A STAR IS BORN 1976 Soundtrack

187 EARTH WIND & FIRE THAT’S THE WAY OF THE WORLD 1975 R&B

188 ANITA BAKER RHYTHM OF LOVE 1994 R&B

189 JAY-Z IN MY LIFETIME VOL. 1 1997 Rap

190 LL COOL J MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT 1990 Rap

191 STEELY DAN AJA 1977 Rock

192 WILLIE NELSON STARDUST 1978 Country

193 ARETHA FRANKLIN SPARKLE 1976 R&B

194 ANDREA BOCELLI ANDREA 2004 Classical

195 BOB DYLAN BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME 1965 Rock

196 LUTHER VANDROSS NEVER TOO MUCH 1981 R&B

197 U2 ALL THAT YOU CAN’T LEAVE BEHIND 2000 Rock

198 RUSH 2112 1976 Rock

199 OUTKAST AQUEMINI 1998 R&B

200 GRAND FUNK RAILROAD WE’RE AN AMERICAN BAND 1973 Rock

7 Minutes In Spiderman Heaven

In case you missed it, during NBC's "Heroes" there was an extended trailer for this Summer's release of "Spiderman 3." By extended, I mean seven full minutes of footage. Kinda makes me wanna see more, how about you? Check it out ya claimers.

For Your Consideration:
The Ramones - Spiderman Theme Mp3

Crush Of The Week: Antonella Barba

Could she be your next American Idol? Well if you have heard her sing, maybe not, but Jersey Girl Antonella Barba has already won something, she is Totally Claimin's "Crush Of The Week!" Barbra Fever has spread throughout the nation since alleged pictures of her performing a sex act were released on the internet. (BTW, I've studied the pictures for hours and they are obviously not her.)


Antonella's face has even appeared on a piece of toast that you can bid on over at ebay. Soak it in Antonella! Enjoy being our "Crush Of The Week," because you're on your fifteenth minute of fame, that is until Playboy comes a callin, then I'll give you a bonus five more!

Here's Antonella's performance, errr butchering of
Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing."

Enjoy?

For Your Consideration:
Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing Mp3

Love Reigns O'er Pearl Jam

Better late than never. Pearl Jam has finally released their 2006 holiday single. This year's version is stellar! It contains a cover version of The Who's classic "Love, Reign O'er Me" and a live version of Neil Young's "Rockin In The Free World" that they performed with Bono and The Edge of U2. Since I have been in a kind of classic Who mood lately, this seemed like the perfect time to share these songs with you. Also, in case you've been living under a rock, here is the full trailer for the Adam Sandler movie called "Reign Over Me" that features the song. Looks like the Sand man is in full "Punch Drunk Love" mode for this one. Enjoy ya claimers!

For Your Consideration:
Pearl Jam - Love Reign O'er Me Mp3
Pearl Jam & U2 - Rockin In The Free World (Live) Mp3

The Who Hits The Desert

Ok, so I rocked to The Who in Phoenix last week, and aside from a costly speeding ticket that I got nailed with, the experience was well worth it.

I have never been to the US Airways Center. I've seen it plenty of times on television as it always seems like the Lakers are getting spanked by the Suns there. It was a great arena for a concert. It's not too large like the Staples Center here in LA, yet it's still a big room. My life long friend Ross (we have inside jokes that are over 20 years old) who invited me to the show got us great seats on the floor, a few rows ahead of the sound board.




The crowd however? Umm, well let's just say that it seemed like Ross and I were the youngest ones there. I'm 37. Ross is 36. There were a lot of desert hippies there, man. One dude who sat in front of us was severely trippin on something as for every time a new song started he would turn around to give me a high five. I obliged out of fear that if I didn't, it might harsh his buzz.

As for the show itself, the music was great. Townshend still plays a mean guitar, and his trademark windmill move was still awe inspiring. I was also amazed at how fresh a song that was literally over thirty years old could still sound. Unfortunately though, Daltrey's voice is obviously not the same. There were some points during the show where he just could not hit the same notes he could hit when he was a young man. It was especially noticeable when he took on "Behind Blue Eyes." Regardless, I was in a forgiving mood, especially since no other band that's still together today, other than the Rolling Stones, can boast such an historical impact. I mean, the Who were at Woodstock for Christ's sake. Here is a copy of the actual set list I got from the guy working the sound board. Look at that thing, it's got more heavy hitters than a New York Yankees lineup!


Now you're probably wondering if the new songs off of "Endless Wire" were "bathroom breakers" or not. If you have already heard the album, then you know that they most certainly were not. "Mirror Door" is one of my favorite tracks from the new album, and it stood up to the monster songs that followed it. Townshend acknowledged that their fans are “coming around” to the new songs and thanked the crowd for it’s patience. “We have one more new song to play and then we’ll go on the downward slope into the past,” Townshend said.

Pete also joked "Roger and I have been through here doing other things, visiting holes in the ground and maybe seeing a couple of blondes." In between another song Roger noted that when he "first came here in '67, it was a one-horse town, literally. I was taken riding in the desert with a Native American, and it only took 15 minutes to get to the desert. Now it will take about three hours." The crowd ate it up, and then proceeded to dance in the aisles, air guitar-ing to the music, joining together with band.


For Your Consideration:
The Who - My Generation (Live - From The Who's Next Deluxe Edition) Mp3
The Who - Behind Blue Eyes (Live - From The Who's Next Deluxe Edition) Mp3
The Who - Mirror Door Mp3

No "Trouble" For Ray LaMontagne

I'm still recovering from the Who show last week in Phoenix. For some reason whenever I go there I come home with an awesome sinus infection., so forgive me if this post is brief.

Every once in a while a song gets stuck in my head. Well, "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne one has been ringing in my head all weekend, and I thought you might enjoy hearing a live version of it. The version available for your consideration is taken from the "ONXRT Live From the Archives Volume 9" compact disc which also features live tracks from My Morning Jacket and Gomez. So while I go pound some more vitamin c, enjoy the song ya claimers.



For Your Consideration:
Ray LaMontagne - Trouble (ONXRT Live From the Archives) Mp3

I'm Goin Mobile

Heya loyal claimers, there won't be a post for Thursday or Friday, gotta hit the road to see The Who in Phoenix tonight. I'll try to get something up maybe on Friday, but don't count on it ok? I'll see ya Monday for sure. See ya next week!

Crush Of The Week: Famke Janssen

Famke Janssen has played a voluptuous "Bond" girl in "Goldeneye", a transgender femme fatale on the F/X show" Nip/Tuck," and super mutant Jean Grey in the "X-Men" trilogy, but this time she takes on her hardest role to date as she plays Totally Claimin's "Crush Of The Week!"

Why is she our Crush? Because she's an angel, an angel that appears in the newest ad for PETA's popular "Be an Angel for Animals" campaign. According to Famke, the easiest way to earn your angel wings is to spay or neuter your companion animal. Well, I'm sold. I'd do it this second if she were here right now wearing that outfit telling me to do so. Can you neuter goldfish? I am willing to learn.

For Your Consideration:
Jimi Hendrix - Angel Mp3
Death Cab For Cutie - Earth Angel Mp3
Massive Attack - Angel Mp3

You Want The Best? You Got The Best! KISS!

KISS lives. Actually, to be honest, they'll never die, not as long as Gene "The Demon" Simmons has money to be made (and as a member of the loyal KISS Army, I say that with love).

It was announced recently that "KISS Comics Group" will launch its inaugural comic book entitled, "KISS 4K." Oh sure, as kids we all had the KISS comics rumored to be printed with the blood of the band members, but this one is different. "KISS 4K" will be the first KISS comic ever produced with involvement of the band themselves. Also, as with everything related to the band, it will be bigger and better than anything else out there. The "KISS 4K" comic will be available for the first time ever in an oversized $50 "Destroyer Edition" at the Wizard World Los Angeles Convention this March, and has the honor of being the biggest comic book ever produced, measuring 30 inches high by 18 inches wide. Look, you wanted the best? You got the best. Here are a look at the covers, and of course a look at the new incarnations of the band.

The comic will continue in an ongoing series starting up in May by writer Rcky Sprague and artist Kevin Crossley. Also, there will be an online KISS comic running in conjunction "KISS 4K" that will expand upon the continuity and story of the print version. So what is the comic all about? According to the KISS website, "the whole storyline, which is a twelve issue arc that branches off into other KISS storylines, goes from dimension to dimension and universe to universe as our friends at KISS have to save all the universes, or at least our very own while the others blow up along the way." No word on whether or not they have to meet the Phantom. Here's the trailer for the comic and for your consideration, a few lessons in Kiss-tory in the form of some MP3s.

For Your Consideration:
KISS - Detroit Rock City Mp3
KISS - Love Gun Mp3
KISS - Beth Mp3

Up Late With Stewie And Brian

Like most of you I watched the Oscars the other night, so more than likely you (like myself)didn't know that over on Fox, they were aggressively plugging the upcoming premier of "The Winner." The series is from the creators of "Family Guy," and stars "The Daily Show's" Rob Corddry. During the spots, they also promoted "Up Late With Stewie And Brian," Stewie's late night talk show available exclusively online. If you haven't seen it, you can here. Enjoy ya claimers.

Under The Sea With My Morning Jacket

A question a lot of people get asked but always have a hard time answering is "What makes you love (insert band name here)?" The obvious answer is because you like the way they sound, but what really makes you truly love a band? What sets them apart? For me, it's the way the Flaming Lips put on a show, the way Phish can noodle for a half hour without ever getting boring, or a Black Crowes impromptu jam on a Bob Marley tune, or the passion Pearl Jam displays day in and day out. Well claimers, here is a reason to fall in love with My Morning Jacket: they're giving you the prom you've always wanted!


The band just announced on their website that "For all of you who missed your prom back in 1956 or 1986 or 2006 for that matter, we will be hosting the 1st annual MMJ 2 night prom, March 6th and 7th, at the fabulous, prom-ready, 40 watt club in Athens! The first time we walked thru those hallowed 40 Watt doors we said to ourselves, "this place looks perfect for a prom!" And now the dream will be a reality. The theme is a futuristic/retro under the sea vibe - costumes (tuxes, suits, robots, mermaid and lobster costumes, anything prom/ocean related) are not only encouraged - they are MANDATORY!!! NO ONE will be admitted without proper attire! There will be cake, balloons, fishnets, classic cars, chaperones, spankings, and a whole lotta shakin goin on - 2007 style up in this bitch ya'll. Come prepared to dance the night away, and make up for all the proms you missed..."


That, is an act of love. Now, like back in high school, if I could just get a date for it!



For Your Consideration:
My Morning Jacket - Take My Breath Away (Berlin Cover) Mp3
My Morning Jacket - All Night Long (Lionel Richie Cover, Live) Mp3
My Morning Jacket - Dancefloors Mp3
...and the Class Of 88's classic prom song
Richard Marx - Hold On To The Nights Mp3

Welcome To Totally Claimin!

For Your Consideration:
Foghat - Slow Ride (Full Version) Mp3

It's A Totally Claimin' Site: Pappy's Products

Check out Pappy's Products as featured on the My 13 News here in Los Angeles. New flavors? New varieties? New products? Yep, that's what it's all about. Oh, and the videos on the site feature a certain "sidekick" claimer you may already know and love too.



For Your Consideration:
Weird Al Yankovic - Eat It Mp3
Larry Groce - Junkfood Junkie Mp3

Friday Afternoon Funnies: Reno 911!

It's four thirty in the afternoon. You've done your week's work, and there's still an hour and a half to kill before you go home for the weekend. Throw on your headphones and kill some time with Totally Claimin's "Friday Afternoon Funnies!" The boss won't know, and you'll be thankful for it! Today's funny is the first episode of Comedy Central's "Reno 911!"

According to Wikipedia, Reno 911! "is in some respects a parody of the long-running television show COPS. The show features the fictional members of the fictional Reno Sheriff's Department (a non-existent law enforcement body created so as not to offend the Reno Police Department or Washoe County Sheriffs Department), who are videotaped during the course of their duties, sometimes addressing the camera directly as though being interviewed. The force also has problems with racism, unrequited attractions, promiscuity, passive-aggressive feuds, drug use, and other dysfunctional troubles that supply much of the show's humor."

Here's how it all started: "Facing a shortage of criminal suspects, Lt. Dangle declares a zero-tolerance policy, only to find himself becoming the first criminal when he rear-ends a civilian's car. Fortunately, he discovers evidence of a crime in the car's trunk."

So spend your Friday afternoon seeing how it all began, then go out tonight and see their new film which opens today called "Reno 911!: Miami." Here's the trailer for the film, and enjoy this week's Totally Claimin "Friday Afternoon Funny!

An Offer You Can't Refuse: A Sneak Peak Of "The Black Donnellys"

Ok, so ya love the violence and family drama of "The Sopranos," and you already miss the angst and indie soundtrack of "The O.C," but we all know that those two shows aren't going to be around forever. "The O.C." leaves the airwaves tonight, and "The Sopranos" is in it's final season as well. So whattaya gonna do? Tell ya what ya my friends, I'm totally claimin you need to watch "The Black Donnellys."

According to TV.com, "The Black Donnellys" follows the exploits of four young, working-class Irish brothers. Their involvement in organized crime in New York City will put their life at risk and they will do anything to protect each other from the hostility between them and the others New York families who want their territory."

According to Totally Claimin, it's the closet thing to "The Sopranos" meets "The O.C." and it shouldn't be missed, especially it's "Goodfellas" inspired climatic ending. I love how music played a role in that film. "Layla" by Derek And The Dominoes will never be heard the same way again. That same dynamic effect is used for the ending of "The Black Donnellys" with The Arcade Fire's "Rebellion (Lies)." A track by Imogen Heap called "The Moment I Said It" also adds dimension to the compelling drama.

Academy Award winners Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco (both for "Crash") are the creators and executive producers of the gritty new crime-drama series filmed in New York City and loosely based on Moresco's background. The ensemble cast includes Kirk Acevedo, Thomas Guiry, Billy Lush, Keith Nobbs, Michael Stahl-David, Jonathan Tucker and Olivia Wilde. The pilot was directed by Haggis, who also wrote the Academy Award-winning film "Million Dollar Baby." It premieres Monday, February 26th on NBC at 10:00 PM, but you can watch it here first! For your consideration: "The Black Donnellys"

For Your Consideration:
Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies) Mp3
Imogen Heap - The Moment I Said It Mp3

Land Of The Lost

Has "Lost" lost it? Last Wednesday night's episode was the lowest rated first run episode since the series began. The show drew an estimated 12.8 million viewers last week in it's new time slot. ABC moved the show to 10pm to avoid Fox's ratings monster "American Idol." Unfortunately for execs at ABC, more people seem to be watching CSI New York at 10pm over on CBS. Ok, so the ratings are down. In simple terms that means more people are leaving the island and moving on. They've stopped watching. Perhaps they've grown tired of the show, and it's increasingly confusing storylines. I must admit that after watching last week's episode, I half expected "The Log Lady" to show up to tell Desmond that a dancing midget will appear with incredible apple pie for him to share with Charlie and Hurley.


And for me? As lost as I am while watching "Lost," I'm sticking with it. As confusing (and frankly, unsatisfying) as the show has been lately, it has too good of a pedigree for there not to be something really cool around the bend. I've invested way too much time into it for there not to be. Oh sure, I fully expect there to be more questions than answers, and I totally understand that it's all a part of the "Lost" experience. That being said, there better be something wonderful coming, because I really don't want "Lost" to mirror my "Twin Peaks" experience. The final season of that groundbreaking program left a real sour taste in my mouth and in a way ruined my entire opinion of the show when I reflect upon on it.

So are you lost too? What the hell is happening on the island? Jesus, for that matter, what island are we even on?

Alright, some of you might have been wondering where you can get that song that they keep playing on "Lost." You can get it here. It's called "Make Your Own Kind Of Music," and it is sung by Mama Cass Elliot of "The Mamas And The Papas." It reached #36 on the Billboard Pop charts back in 1969, and the dance version of the song (also available here) went to #11 on the Hot Dance Charts in 1997 after appearing in a motion picture called "Beautiful Thing." Enjoy ya claimers.



For Your Consideration:
Mama Cass - Make Your Own Kind Of Music Mp3
Mama Cass - Make Your Own Kind Of Music (Dance Remix) Mp3

Crush Of The Week: Tiffani Thiessen

Tiffani "I dropped the Amber" Thiessen is rapidly becoming the Heather Locklear of a new generation. When a show was struggling or needed a ratings boost, producers used to call Ms. Locklear in to rescue it. Heather has been credited for saving "Melrose Place" and "Spin City" single handedly. After following in her footsteps by boosting "Beverly Hills 90210," producers now turn to Tiff in the same way for a ratings kapow-ski. (C'mon, that was a tasty pun, wasn't it?)

In a recent interview from tvguide.com, she addressed that issue:
TVGuide.com: With an eye on your joining "What About Brian" and your previous gigs on, say, Just Shoot Me and 90210, do you think someone out there envisions you as a Heather Locklear-esque "show sexer-upper"?
Thiessen: I would like to think that Heather and I have an "appeal" that enables us to fit in well with an already existing show, be team players and work for the betterment of the show. Did I just give the politically correct version of a "show sexer-upper"?


Wha? Did you just say something Tif? I was too busy drooling over this picture.

For those of you who didn't even know that the show existed (like me), you now finally have a reason to watch ABC's "What About Brian." According to IMDB, "What About Brian" is an "ensemble show about a group of supportive friends in various stages of romantic relationships and friendships living in Los Angeles." Yeah, that doesn't sound too generic does it? Wait, isn't Matt LeBlanc in that one? Nope, this one stars Barry Watson, and Tiffani Thiessen has just joined the cast as "Natasha, Dave’s new boss." Her first episode aired last Monday night on ABC at10 p.m, and that makes her this week's edition of Totally Claimin's "Crush Of The Week!"



For Your Consideration:
The Tubes - She's A Beauty Mp3
Prince - Hot Thing (Extended Remix) Mp3

Roger Waters: Embracing The Dark Side

Former Pink Floyd front man Roger Waters is returning stateside this year for a second round of concerts billed as “The Dark Side of the Moon—The Return Engagement.” The tour kicks off May 18 in Florida and will run for two months. I caught the Los Angeles stop of the tour at the Hollywood Bowl last year, and I can tell you first hand, this is a concert that should not be missed.

According to a statement from a representative of Waters, the concert features "a full evening's worth of music—comprised of two sets plus encores—performed by Roger Waters and full band with state-of-the-art staging, lighting and sound. Set one provides a comprehensive overview of Waters' music including early Pink Floyd material; classic compositions from the masterpiece "The Wall"; beloved pieces from "Animals," "Wish You Were Here," and "The Final Cut" and songs from Waters' solo tour de force: "Amused To Death." Set two features a complete performance of the classic Pink Floyd album, "Dark Side Of The Moon."

I don't know, maybe it was the brownies taking effect, but I swear to God, I had never heard the acoustics at The Bowl sound better. The dude simply knows how to put on a show. As always with a Waters concert, they will utilize an elaborate "large-scale video projection and theatrical staging to underscore and accentuate the power of the music which is delivered via a state-of-the-art 360° quadraphonic sound system, immersing the audience in a 3-dimensional hyperworld."

Yeah, I read that last line too and thought that they kinda sounded like total claimers, but seriously, they back that shit up, yo.

Here are the announced tourdates:

MAY:
Friday 18th - West Palm Beach - Sound Advice Saturday 19th - Tampa – Ford Amphitheater Tuesday 22nd - Atlanta – Philips Thursday 24th - New Jersey - Continental Wednesday 30th - New York City MSG

JUNE:
Friday 1st - Philadelphia - Wachovia Monday 4th - Ottawa - Scotiabank Place Wednesday 6th - Quebec City – Colisee Arena Thursday 7th - Montreal - Bell Center Saturday 9th - Chicago - United Center Wednesday 13th - Hollywood Bowl Friday 15th - Irvine – Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Saturday 16th - Las Vegas – MGM Grand Garden Arena Tuesday 19th - Oakland - Coliseum Thursday 21st - Vancouver - GM Place Saturday 23rd - Calgary – Saddle Dome Sunday 24th - Edmonton - Rexall Place Wednesday 27th - Winnipeg – MTS Center Friday 29th - Omaha - Civic Center Saturday 30th - St. Paul - Excel

JULY:
Monday 2nd - Milwaukee – Marcus Amphitheatre Summerfest Monday 9th - Boston – Fleet Center Friday 13th - Hartford – The Meadows Saturday 14th - Toronto - Roger's Center

Waters played all of the typical songs that you would expect to hear from his show, but one toward the end of the first act stood out to me because I was not as familiar with it as I was with the others. It was called "Leaving Beirut" and is currently only available as an import cd single. Never one back down from controversy, Water's polarizing track was written as a response to the invasion of Iraq. He sings about his firsthand experience meeting people from the area, and questions the purpose of the war. For your consideration, so that you'll be ready to hear it performed live, you can grab the song below. I've also added "To Kill The Child," which was also available on the single. Here is a sample from the lyrics which are directed toward President Bush:

Are these the people that we should bomb

Are we so sure they mean us harm
Is this our pleasure, punishment or crime
Is this a mountain that we really want to climb
The road is hard, hard and long
Put down that two by four
This man would never turn you from his door
Oh George! Oh George!
That Texas education must have fucked you up when you were very small

For Your Consideration:

Roger Waters - To Kill The Child Mp3
Roger Waters - Leaving Beirut Mp3

I Love This Game

This clip is why I love the NBA. There is always a real sense of fun, whereas in other sports, it seems like work. Barry Bonds, I am talking about you. What amazes me about this clip from the weekend's All-Star festivities, is here you have Dwight Howard, a first time all-star, Shaq, a sure fire Hall Of Famer, and LeBron James, the future of the league and some believe to be the next Michael Jordan cutting it up without a care. Not for a second are they worried about their image, just a bunch of multi-millionaires acting like kids. I love this game.




For Your Consideration:
Kurtis Blow - Basketball Mp3

Britney Shears: Clip Me Baby One More Time!

It's now safe to say the drapes match the carpet.

I watched the NBA All-Star game last night, and at half time a weird thought came over me. Who would have thought that compared to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera would have ended up being the normal one? Then again, who would have thought back in the 80's that Prince would end up being the normal one when compared to Michael Jackson? My how the mighty have fallen.

Employee Emily Wynne-Hughes told Usmagazine.com that Britney arrived at the salon agitated and, when asked why she shaved her head, replied, "I don't want anyone touching me. I'm tired of everybody touching me." Anybody else find this as disturbing as I do? Hang in there Brit, I can't wait for the comeback special.



For Your Consideration:
Bob Marley - Crazy Baldheads Mp3
Beck & The Flaming Lips - Devil's Haircut (Live) Mp3
Travis - Baby One More Time (Live) Mp3

Friday Afternoon Funnies: KaBlam!

It's four thirty in the afternoon. You've done your week's work, and there's still an hour and a half to kill before you go home for the weekend. Throw on your headphones and kill some time with Totally Claimin's "Friday Afternoon Funnies!" The boss won't know. And you'll be thankful for it! Today's funny is an episode of Nickelodeon's "KaBlam!"

KaBlam! is an American animated television series that ran on Nickelodeon from 1996 to 2000. It features a collection of short films in several different styles of animation, bridged by the characters of Henry and June, who introduce the shorts, and have adventures of their own. Wikipedia

This particular episode includes:

Action League Now! — Filmed in "Chuckimation", in which the characters/props are moved by unseen hands, or thrown from off camera, interspersed with occasional stop motion animation. Action League Now! featured a group of superheroes, played by custom-made action figures, who fight crime in suburbia despite being total idiots. The four superheroes are ThunderGirl, who has the ability to fly, Meltman, who has the ability to melt, The Flesh, described in the Action League Now! introduction as "super-strong and super-naked", and Stinky Diver, whose name derives from the fact that most of his diving takes place in toilets. Considered to be the best KaBlam! short, it briefly became a spin-off series in 2003. All the characters on the shorts were voiced by personalities from radio station WDVE in Pittsburgh.

Prometheus and Bob — A Claymation segment featuring the video record mission logs of Prometheus, an alien who comes to Earth attempting to teach the local caveman, Bob, all manner of things. From the use of fire to the act of ice skating, the result is usually a failure. Wikipedia

On Call With The Kings Of Leon

I try not to miss the opening act of any concert I attend. Back in 2005, I saw U2 at the Staples Center here in Los Angeles. Opening for them were "Kings Of Leon," a band that at the time was described as Lynyrd Skynyrd meets the Strokes. (Side note: Everything back in 2005 was compared to The Strokes.) I was already familiar with the band from their single "Molly's Chambers" and the accompanying car commercial it was featured in, but once I saw their live show, I was hooked. It smoked, and even as U2 fans were piling in to Staples, and the house lights were still up, the band played ferociously and demanded the audience to take notice.

Well claimers, after opening for such acts as Pearl Jam, Bob Dylan, and the aforementioned U2, it's time to take notice again. The Kings Of Leon have released their first single entitled "On Call" from their upcoming release "Because Of The Times." The follow-up release to 2005’s Aha Shake Heartbreak, is not all that you would expect from the Nashville-based quartet. “I think people tend to expect a certain sound from us,” says Kings of Leon’s drummer Nathan Followill, “but on this record, we tried to throw them for a loop.”


The new album, their third major label release, finds the band exploring their musical talents; a feat often found in a group that has established a steady footing in the band's identity, the security of fan loyalty, and their record label's confidence. “We took the limitations off of ourselves,” says frontman/rhythm guitarist Caleb. “We went into the studio with an open mind, thinking let’s do whatever it takes to get these songs to the next level. Because we really have a lot of music inside of us and a lot of different places we can go.”

Such exploration can be found in the band's forst single off of the new album, "On Call." It's a track that features the already familiar "Kings Of Leon" slow burn to pounding beat, but builds upon that tactic by using vocal effects. See if you agree, for your consideration, you can listen to the track below.



"Because Of The Times" will be released stateside April 3rd. If you would like to hear other tracks from the band, visit The Kings Of Leon at myspace.


For Your Consideration:
Kings Of Leon - On Call Mp3
Kings Of Leon - Molly's Chambers (Live Austin City Limits Music Festival: 2003 Collection) Mp3

The British Are Coming: An Overseas Office Visit!

Get ready for another British invasion. Only thing is though, this one ain't gonna be a musical invasion, it's gonna be a comedic one. In what could only be described as stunt casting of "Will And Grace" sized proportions, it looks like NBC's "The Office" is set to have members of the original UK cast appear as guest stars. Among those who could make cameos are "Pirates Of The Caribbean" star Mackenzie Crook who played Gareth (their version of Dwight), Martin Freeman (Tim, their Jim), and Lucy Davis who played Dawn (their Pam). American audiences might recognize Davis from her current role as comedy writer Lucy Kenwright on NBC's "Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip."

Executive Producer Ben Silverman of the US version of the show has said that it will be a case of Slough meets Scranton, and that characters from both shows will finally get to meet. Unfortunately, the big cheese, office manager David Brent, played by series creator Ricky Gervais will not appear with his co-workers in that episode. There are plans however for the meeting of minds between Brent and Michael Scott played by Steve Carell in a later episode to be penned by Gervais himself, and I for one, can't wait.

So for now, enjoy the theme from the UK version of "The Office," a wonderful cover of "Handbags and Gladrags" performed by Stereophonics. It's a sad ditty, one that immediately set the tone for a show about the mundane lives of the working stiffs at a small paper company. Here's the video:

For Your Consideration:
Stereophonics - Handbags And Gladrags (Theme To The Office UK) Mp3

Stereophonics - Handbags And Gladrags Live Acoustic Version (Theme To The Office UK) Mp3

Bono Sighting Across The Universe

Later this year, around September, Revolution Studios will be releasing "Across The Universe," an original musical from director Julie Taymor (Frida, Titus, and the Broadway smash hit musical "The Lion King") and writers Dick Clement & Ian La Frenais (The Commitments). The musical contains tons of Beatles music in it much like the recent "Cirque Du Soleil" production of "Love." Here's the trailer:

According to the movie's website, "Across The Universe" is "A love story set against the backdrop of the 1960s amid the turbulent years of anti-war protest, mind exploration and rock 'n roll, the film moves from the dockyards of Liverpool to the creative psychedelia of Greenwich Village, from the riot-torn streets of Detroit to the killing fields of Vietnam. The star-crossed lovers, Jude (Jim Sturgess) and Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood), along with a small group of friends and musicians, are swept up into the emerging anti-war and counterculture movements, with "Dr. Robert" (Bono) and "Mr. Kite" (Eddie Izzard) as their guides. Tumultuous forces outside their control ultimately tear the young lovers apart, forcing Jude and Lucy – against all odds – to find their own way back to each other."

Also worth noting is that one of my favorite bands, "The Secret Machines" contributed music to the soundtrack. That's the good news, but I can't help but think this might be another Bee Gees "Sgt. Pepper's" rehash. My case in point? Here is a still of Bono looking quite familiar. Is it me or does he look exactly like Robin Williams in "Night At The Museum?" Uncanny.

So what movie are you looking forward to seeing this year? Leave a claim!

For Your Consideration:
Bono, Alicia Keys, Alison Krauss, Billie Joe Armstrong, Brian Wilson, Norah Jones, Steven Tyler, Stevie Wonder, Tim McGraw & Velvet Revolver - Across The Universe (Live At The Grammys) Mp3

The Beatles - Across The Universe (Beatles Past Masters Vol. 2 Version) Mp3