Somebody Get Him A Doctor!

FROM EDDIE
March 8, 2007

"I would like Van Halen fans to know how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Without you there is no Van Halen.

I have always and will always feel a responsibility to give you my best. At the moment I do not feel that I can give you my best. That’s why I have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility to work on myself, so that in the future I can deliver the 110% that I feel I owe you and want to give you.

Some of the issues surrounding the 2007 Van Halen tour are within my ability to change and some are not. As far as my rehab is concerned, it is within my ability to change and change for the better. I want you to know that is exactly what I’m doing, so that I may continue to give you the very best I am capable of.

I look forward to seeing you in the future better than ever and I thank you with all my heart.

Love, Ed"

Well at least this statement finally explains the photo, doesn't it? Neither Eddie nor David Lee Roth are expected to attend the band's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Monday in New York. Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony who ironically were not a part of the recently canceled Van Halen reunion tour will be there to represent the band.

For Your Consideration:
Van Halen - Somebody Get Me A Doctor Mp3


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Friday Afternoon Funnies: Little Donny Disease

Typically here at Totally Claimin, Friday Afternoon is reserved for "Friday Afternoon Funnies." Normally I would say something like "It's four thirty in the afternoon. You've done your week's work, and there's still an hour and a half to kill before you go home for the weekend. Throw on your headphones and kill some time with Totally Claimin's "Friday Afternoon Funnies!" The boss won't know. And you'll be thankful for it! Today's funny is an episode of..."

Well not this week. This week my claimers, I'd like you to take a moment to learn about Magnimus-Obliviophallocytis, otherwise known as Little Donny Disease. It is a hereditary disease, it's main symptom being enlarged genitalia that the sufferer is not aware of. This disease has no cure, but with your help, we can find one. There are many things you can do to help in the fight against Little Donny Disease. Sign the electronic petition that is being sent to the government and the press in order to raise awareness of the disease. Together we can find a cure. Till then, watch Little Donny's story above.

And Since I don't want your afternoon to be an entire downer, check out this funny sketch from "The Upright Citizens Brigade." The show, which originally aired on Comedy Central, was about "The Upright Citizens Brigade", an underground organization "with no government ties and unlimited resources" dedicated to creating and monitoring chaos from their secure underground base. It starred Matt Besser, Amy Poehler (who went on to SNL), Ian Roberts (the choreographer from "Bring It On"), and Matt Walsh (The Daily Show). Enjoy this sketch, then seriously, watch the Little Donny documentary and then perhaps do what you can to try to stop this epidemic. Thank you.

The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Presents:The Definitive 200?

Well, they really did it now. Supposedly these are the best 200 albums you should have in your own collection. Unveiled earlier this week, the "Definitive 200" list was compiled by a committee of music retailers co-sponsored by the US National Association of Recording Merchandisers (NARM) and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. "They looked for what makes a classic album," said Jim Donio, president of NARM. "Our members chose the albums that have consistently excited record buyers over the years and those that have the potential for continued success based on enduring popularity. Some of them are recognizable landmark albums, while others are very new by contemporary artists. We have Pop, Country, R&B, Rock, Rap, Punk, Jazz, Soul, Reggae, and more. Hopefully, the inevitable debate about the 200 must-own albums will underscore just how much the music and the art form mean to everyone."

...And debate they will. Personally, I have a few questions, like how in the hell did Linkin Park, Creed, and Kid Rock get on here? How does Green Day rank above The Clash? Supernatural at #13? Wait, is that right? SUPERNATURAL? Unless you're planning a halftime show somewhere, who the fuck is listening to that album anymore?

If that ain't the biggest tragedy, then the album at #27 has gotta be it with Norah Jones and her snoozer "Come Away With Me." Sure, ok, yeah, it had that one song that was good. I like dancing to "Don't Know Why" at weddings just as much as the next person who can't get laid, but #27? Look what's just below it, Miles Davis "Kind Of Blue," the quintessential jazz album, and Guns N Roses "Appetite For Destruction," the album that singlehandedly killed hair metal. You mean to tell me that Norah's album will stand the test of time as compared to those two examples? Jesus, I just had to reread my last couple of sentences I just wrote to remember what friggin album I was even talking about! (I don't know why, it's that forgettable.)

I think I just figured out this list. Is Dick Clark producing an ABC Television special about this thing? It would explain so much if he is. This wreaks of Dick.

And come on, no greatest albums of all time list would be complete without Styx on it, am I right claimers? Who's with me? Doobie Brothers? No? Wait, ummm...

Read the list for yourself, drop me a claim and let me know what ya think. For your consideration, check out some mp3's from selected albums on this site, or head over to amazon.com for their special section highlighting the list.

Top 200 albums of all time:

1 BEATLES SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND 1967 Rock

2 PINK FLOYD DARK SIDE OF THE MOON 1973 Rock

3 MICHAEL JACKSON THRILLER 1982 Pop

4 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN IV 1971 Rock

5 U2 THE JOSHUA TREE 1987 Rock

6 ROLLING STONES EXILE ON MAIN STREET 1972 Rock

7 CAROLE KING TAPESTRY 1971 Adult Contemporary

8 BOB DYLAN HIGHWAY 61 REVISITED 1965 Rock

9 BEACH BOYS PET SOUNDS 1966 Rock (Part 1)
BEACH BOYS PET SOUNDS 1966 Rock (Part 2)

10 NIRVANA NEVERMIND 1991 Rock

11 PEARL JAM TEN 1991 Rock

12 BEATLES ABBEY ROAD 1969 Rock

13 SANTANA SUPERNATURAL 1999 Rock

14 METALLICA METALLICA 1991 Rock

15 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BORN TO RUN 1975 Rock

16 PRINCE PURPLE RAIN 1984 Pop

17 AC/DC BACK IN BLACK 1980 Rock

18 ROLLING STONES LET IT BLEED 1969 Rock

19 DOORS THE DOORS 1967 Rock

20 GRATEFUL DEAD AMERICAN BEAUTY 1970 Rock

21 SHANIA TWAIN COME ON OVER 1997 Country

22 WHO WHO’S NEXT 1971 Rock

23 STEVIE WONDER SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE 1976 R&B

24 FLEETWOOD MAC RUMOURS 1977 Pop

25 PINK FLOYD THE WALL 1979 Rock

26 ALANIS MORISSETTE JAGGED LITTLE PILL 1995 Pop

27 NORAH JONES COME AWAY WITH ME 2002 Pop

28 EMINEM THE MARSHALL MATHERS LP 2000 Rap

29 OUTKAST SPEAKERBOXX-LOVE BELOW 2003 R&B

30 DR. DRE THE CHRONIC 1992 Rap

31 BEASTIE BOYS LICENSED TO ILL 1986 Rap

32 GUNS N’ ROSES APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION 1987 Rock

33 DIXIE CHICKS WIDE OPEN SPACES 1998 Country

34 MILES DAVIS KIND OF BLUE 1959 Jazz

35 EAGLES HOTEL CALIFORNIA 1976 Rock

36 DEF LEPPARD HYSTERIA 1987 Rock

37 SOUNDTRACK: GREASE 1978 Soundtrack

38 MARVIN GAYE WHAT’S GOING ON 1971 R&B

39 BEATLES THE WHITE ALBUM 1968 Rock

40 SOUNDTRACK: SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER 1977 Soundtrack

41 JIMI HENDRIX ARE YOU EXPERIENCED? 1967 Rock

42 BEATLES REVOLVER 1966 Rock

43 BOSTON BOSTON 1976 Rock

44 BON JOVI SLIPPERY WHEN WET 1986 Rock

45 U2 ACHTUNG BABY 1991 Rock

46 WHITNEY HOUSTON WHITNEY HOUSTON 1985 R&B

47 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN II 1969 Rock

48 DAVE MATTHEWS BAND CRASH 1996 Rock

49 ROLLING STONES STICKY FINGERS 1971 Rock

50 GREEN DAY DOOKIE 1994 Rock

51 LED ZEPPELIN HOUSES OF THE HOLY 1973 Rock

52 JONI MITCHELL BLUE 1971 Rock

53 ELVIS PRESLEY ELVIS PRESLEY AT SUN 2004 Rock

54 AEROSMITH TOYS IN THE ATTIC 1975 Rock

55 LAURYN HILL THE MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL 1998 R&B

56 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BORN IN THE U.S.A. 1984 Rock

57 50 CENT GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN’ 2003 Rap

58 AC/DC HIGHWAY TO HELL 1979 Rock

59 NOTORIOUS B.I.G. LIFE AFTER DEATH 1997 Rap

60 VAN HALEN VAN HALEN 1978 Rock

61 GREEN DAY AMERICAN IDIOT 2004 Rock

62 BLACK SABBATH PARANOID 1971 Rock

63 EMINEM THE EMINEM SHOW 2002 Rap

64 JEWEL PIECES OF YOU 1995 Pop

65 COLDPLAY A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD 2002 Pop

66 MEAT LOAF BAT OUT OF HELL 1977 Rock

67 USHER CONFESSIONS 2004 R&B

68 KID ROCK DEVIL WITHOUT A CAUSE 1998 Rock

69 GEORGE HARRISON ALL THINGS MUST PASS 1970 Pop (Part 1)
GEORGE HARRISON ALL THINGS MUST PASS 1970 Pop (Part 2)
GEORGE HARRISON ALL THINGS MUST PASS 1970 Pop (Part 3)

70 BILLY JOEL THE STRANGER 1977 Pop

71 EAGLES HELL FREEZES OVER 1994 Rock

72 VAN MORRISON MOONDANCE 1970 Rock

73 R.E.M. AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE 1992 Pop

74 PHIL COLLINS NO JACKET REQUIRED 1985 Pop

75 METALLICA MASTER OF PUPPETS 1986 Rock

76 FAITH HILL BREATHE 1999 Country

77 JOHNNY CASH AT FOLSOM PRISON 1968 Country

78 JOHN COLTRANE A LOVE SUPREME 1964 Jazz

79 PINK FLOYD WISH YOU WERE HERE 1975 Rock

80 MICHAEL JACKSON OFF THE WALL 1979 Pop

81 MARVIN GAYE LET’S GET IT ON 1973 R&B

82 BOB SEGER NIGHT MOVES 1976 Rock

83 PAUL SIMON GRACELAND 1986 Pop

84 LINKIN PARK HYBRID THEORY 2000 Rock

85 PRINCE 1999 1983 Pop

86 DEF LEPPARD PYROMANIA 1983 Rock

87 JANET JACKSON CONTROL 1986 R&B

88 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK 1991 Rock (Part 1)
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK 1991 Rock (Part 2)

89 DIRE STRAITS BROTHERS IN ARMS 1985 Rock

90 TUPAC ALL EYEZ ON ME 1996 Rap

91 MATCHBOX TWENTY YOURSELF OR SOMEONE LIKE YOU 1996 Pop

92 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS CALIFORNICATION 1999 Rock

93 LED ZEPPELIN PHYSICAL GRAFFITI 1975 Rock (Part1)
LED ZEPPELIN PHYSICAL GRAFFITI 1975 Rock (Part 2)

94 NELLY COUNTRY GRAMMAR 2000 Rap

95 CREED HUMAN CLAY 1999 Rock (Part 1)
CREED HUMAN CLAY 1999 Rock (Part 2)

96 CLASH LONDON CALLING 1979 Rock

97 CELINE DION FALLING INTO YOU 1996 Adult Contemporary

98 NEIL YOUNG HARVEST 1972 Rock

99 SOUNDTRACK: DIRTY DANCING 1987 Soundtrack

100 DIXIE CHICKS HOME 2002 Country

101 TOM PETTY FULL MOON FEVER 1989 Rock

102 VAN HALEN 1984 1984 Rock

103 SOUNDTRACK: TITANIC 1997 Soundtrack

104 CROSBY STILLS & NASH DEJA VU 1970 Rock

105 TLC CRAZYSEXYCOOL 1999 R&B

106 BECK ODELAY 1994 Rock

107 KENNY G BREATHLESS 1992 Adult Contemporary

108 NWA STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON 1989 Rap

109 SEX PISTOLS NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS 1977 Rock

110 BEATLES RUBBER SOUL 1965 Rock

111 RADIOHEAD O.K. COMPUTER 1993 Rock

112 SIMON & GARFUNKEL BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER 1970 Pop

113 DIXIE CHICKS FLY 1999 Country

114 METALLICA AND JUSTICE FOR ALL 1988 Rock

115 MICHAEL JACKSON DANGEROUS 1992 Pop

116 MARIAH CAREY DAYDREAM 1995 Pop

117 SOUNDTRACK: TOP GUN 1986 Soundtrack

118 ELTON JOHN GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD 1973 Pop

119 POLICE SYNCHRONICITY 1983 Rock

120 NO DOUBT TRAGIC KINGDOM 1995 Pop

121 ROLLING STONES BEGGARS BANQUET 1968 Rock

122 R KELLY R 1998 R&B

123 TOOL LATERALUS 2001 Rock

124 OASIS WHAT’S THE STORY MORNING GLORY 1995 Rock

125 BOB MARLEY EXODUS 1977 Reggae

126 JOURNEY ESCAPE 1981 Rock

127 CHRISTINA AGUILERA CHRISTINA AGUILERA 1999 Pop

128 JAY-Z BLUEPRINT 2001 Rap

129 ALICIA KEYS DIARY OF ALICIA KEYS 2003 R&B

130 SOUNDTRACK: O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? 2000 Soundtrack

131 CARS THE CARS 1978 Pop

132 ENYA DAY WITHOUT RAIN 2000 Adult Contemporary

133 NATALIE COLE UNFORGETTABLE: WITH LOVE 1991 R&B

134 SOUNDTRACK: FOOTLOOSE 1984 Soundtrack

135 LIONEL RICHIE CAN’T SLOW DOWN 1983 Pop

136 SARAH MCLACHLAN SURFACING 1997 Adult Contemporary

137 BONNIE RAITT NICK OF TIME 1989 Rock

138 METALLICA RIDE THE LIGHTNING 1984 Rock

139 SHERYL CROW TUESDAY NIGHT MUSIC CLUB 1993 Pop

140 FRANK SINATRA IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS 1954 Standards

141 EARTH WIND & FIRE GRATITUDE 1975 R&B

142 ZZ TOP ELIMINATOR 1983 Rock

143 WILLIE NELSON RED HEADED STRANGER 1975 Country

144 JOHN LENNON IMAGINE 1971 Rock

145 TONI BRAXTON TONI BRAXTON 1993 R&B

146 ETTA JAMES AT LAST 1961 Blues

147 ELVIS PRESLEY ELVIS PRESLEY 1956 Rock

148 CAT STEVENS TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN 1970 Pop

149 SMASHING PUMPKINS MELLON COLLIE & THE INFINITE SADNESS 1995 Rock

150 DAVE BRUBECK TIME OUT 1959 Jazz

151 JANET JACKSON JANET 1993 R&B

152 QUEEN A NIGHT AT THE OPERA 1975 Rock

153 OZZY OSBOURNE BLIZZARD OF OZZ 1980 Rock

154 WILL SMITH BIG WILLIE STYLE 1997 Rap

155 PRINCE SIGN O’ THE TIMES 1987 Pop

156 PUBLIC ENEMY IT TAKES A NATION OF MILLIONS TO HOLD US BACK 1988 Rap

157 BOB DYLAN BLOOD ON THE TRACKS 1975 Rock

158 GEORGE MICHAEL FAITH 1987 Pop

159 BOYZ II MEN COOLEYHIGHHARMONY 1993 R&B

160 DESTINY’S CHILD WRITING’S ON THE WALL 1999 R&B

161 JAY-Z THE BLACK ALBUM 2003 Rap

162 AVRIL LAVIGNE LET GO 2002 Pop

163 FUGEES THE SCORE 1996 R&B

164 MADONNA LIKE A VIRGIN 1984 Pop

165 LED ZEPPELIN LED ZEPPELIN 1969 Rock

166 STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN TEXAS FLOOD 1983 R&B

167 STONE TEMPLE PILOTS CORE 1992 Rock

168 ORIGINAL CAST: PHANTOM OF THE OPERA 1988 Cast Album

169 JETHRO TULL AQUALUNG 1971 Rock

170 TUPAC ME AGAINST THE WORLD 1995 Rap

171 DAVID BOWIE THE RISE AND FALL OF ZIGGY STARDUST 1972 Rock

172 SHAKIRA LAUNDRY SERVICE 1998 Pop

173 SOUNDTRACK: FORREST GUMP 1994 Soundtrack

174 AL GREEN CALL ME 1973 R&B

175 CURTIS MAYFIELD SUPERFLY 1972 R&B

176 LIVE THROWING COPPER 1994 Rock

177 GEORGE BENSON BREEZIN’ 1976 Jazz

178 WHITE STRIPES WHITE BLOOD CELLS 2001 Rock

179 LYNYRD SKYNYRD PRONOUNCED LEH-NERD SKIN-ERD 1973 Rock

180 SADE DIAMOND LIFE 1984 Adult Contemporary

181 FLEETWOOD MAC FLEETWOOD MAC 1975 Pop

182 PAUL MCCARTNEY & WINGS BAND ON THE RUN 1973 Rock

183 BEYONCE DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE 2003 R&B

184 ANITA BAKER RAPTURE 1986 R&B

185 NAS ILLMATIC 1994 Rap

186 BARBRA STREISAND A STAR IS BORN 1976 Soundtrack

187 EARTH WIND & FIRE THAT’S THE WAY OF THE WORLD 1975 R&B

188 ANITA BAKER RHYTHM OF LOVE 1994 R&B

189 JAY-Z IN MY LIFETIME VOL. 1 1997 Rap

190 LL COOL J MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT 1990 Rap

191 STEELY DAN AJA 1977 Rock

192 WILLIE NELSON STARDUST 1978 Country

193 ARETHA FRANKLIN SPARKLE 1976 R&B

194 ANDREA BOCELLI ANDREA 2004 Classical

195 BOB DYLAN BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME 1965 Rock

196 LUTHER VANDROSS NEVER TOO MUCH 1981 R&B

197 U2 ALL THAT YOU CAN’T LEAVE BEHIND 2000 Rock

198 RUSH 2112 1976 Rock

199 OUTKAST AQUEMINI 1998 R&B

200 GRAND FUNK RAILROAD WE’RE AN AMERICAN BAND 1973 Rock

7 Minutes In Spiderman Heaven

In case you missed it, during NBC's "Heroes" there was an extended trailer for this Summer's release of "Spiderman 3." By extended, I mean seven full minutes of footage. Kinda makes me wanna see more, how about you? Check it out ya claimers.

For Your Consideration:
The Ramones - Spiderman Theme Mp3

Crush Of The Week: Antonella Barba

Could she be your next American Idol? Well if you have heard her sing, maybe not, but Jersey Girl Antonella Barba has already won something, she is Totally Claimin's "Crush Of The Week!" Barbra Fever has spread throughout the nation since alleged pictures of her performing a sex act were released on the internet. (BTW, I've studied the pictures for hours and they are obviously not her.)


Antonella's face has even appeared on a piece of toast that you can bid on over at ebay. Soak it in Antonella! Enjoy being our "Crush Of The Week," because you're on your fifteenth minute of fame, that is until Playboy comes a callin, then I'll give you a bonus five more!

Here's Antonella's performance, errr butchering of
Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing."

Enjoy?

For Your Consideration:
Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing Mp3

Love Reigns O'er Pearl Jam

Better late than never. Pearl Jam has finally released their 2006 holiday single. This year's version is stellar! It contains a cover version of The Who's classic "Love, Reign O'er Me" and a live version of Neil Young's "Rockin In The Free World" that they performed with Bono and The Edge of U2. Since I have been in a kind of classic Who mood lately, this seemed like the perfect time to share these songs with you. Also, in case you've been living under a rock, here is the full trailer for the Adam Sandler movie called "Reign Over Me" that features the song. Looks like the Sand man is in full "Punch Drunk Love" mode for this one. Enjoy ya claimers!

For Your Consideration:
Pearl Jam - Love Reign O'er Me Mp3
Pearl Jam & U2 - Rockin In The Free World (Live) Mp3

The Who Hits The Desert

Ok, so I rocked to The Who in Phoenix last week, and aside from a costly speeding ticket that I got nailed with, the experience was well worth it.

I have never been to the US Airways Center. I've seen it plenty of times on television as it always seems like the Lakers are getting spanked by the Suns there. It was a great arena for a concert. It's not too large like the Staples Center here in LA, yet it's still a big room. My life long friend Ross (we have inside jokes that are over 20 years old) who invited me to the show got us great seats on the floor, a few rows ahead of the sound board.




The crowd however? Umm, well let's just say that it seemed like Ross and I were the youngest ones there. I'm 37. Ross is 36. There were a lot of desert hippies there, man. One dude who sat in front of us was severely trippin on something as for every time a new song started he would turn around to give me a high five. I obliged out of fear that if I didn't, it might harsh his buzz.

As for the show itself, the music was great. Townshend still plays a mean guitar, and his trademark windmill move was still awe inspiring. I was also amazed at how fresh a song that was literally over thirty years old could still sound. Unfortunately though, Daltrey's voice is obviously not the same. There were some points during the show where he just could not hit the same notes he could hit when he was a young man. It was especially noticeable when he took on "Behind Blue Eyes." Regardless, I was in a forgiving mood, especially since no other band that's still together today, other than the Rolling Stones, can boast such an historical impact. I mean, the Who were at Woodstock for Christ's sake. Here is a copy of the actual set list I got from the guy working the sound board. Look at that thing, it's got more heavy hitters than a New York Yankees lineup!


Now you're probably wondering if the new songs off of "Endless Wire" were "bathroom breakers" or not. If you have already heard the album, then you know that they most certainly were not. "Mirror Door" is one of my favorite tracks from the new album, and it stood up to the monster songs that followed it. Townshend acknowledged that their fans are “coming around” to the new songs and thanked the crowd for it’s patience. “We have one more new song to play and then we’ll go on the downward slope into the past,” Townshend said.

Pete also joked "Roger and I have been through here doing other things, visiting holes in the ground and maybe seeing a couple of blondes." In between another song Roger noted that when he "first came here in '67, it was a one-horse town, literally. I was taken riding in the desert with a Native American, and it only took 15 minutes to get to the desert. Now it will take about three hours." The crowd ate it up, and then proceeded to dance in the aisles, air guitar-ing to the music, joining together with band.


For Your Consideration:
The Who - My Generation (Live - From The Who's Next Deluxe Edition) Mp3
The Who - Behind Blue Eyes (Live - From The Who's Next Deluxe Edition) Mp3
The Who - Mirror Door Mp3

No "Trouble" For Ray LaMontagne

I'm still recovering from the Who show last week in Phoenix. For some reason whenever I go there I come home with an awesome sinus infection., so forgive me if this post is brief.

Every once in a while a song gets stuck in my head. Well, "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne one has been ringing in my head all weekend, and I thought you might enjoy hearing a live version of it. The version available for your consideration is taken from the "ONXRT Live From the Archives Volume 9" compact disc which also features live tracks from My Morning Jacket and Gomez. So while I go pound some more vitamin c, enjoy the song ya claimers.



For Your Consideration:
Ray LaMontagne - Trouble (ONXRT Live From the Archives) Mp3