Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Punch Or Lunch?

Heya folks, it's time for the second installment of "Punch or Lunch." It features people and things who I either want to punch or buy lunch. Here we go!

Greg Behrendt, comedian, author, talk show host. Punch or Lunch?

Dude, this guy needs a punch. Seriously. Someone stop this guy. Somehow Behrendt has managed to turn a marginally funny stand up routine into a self-help book, a spot on Oprah, and as a host of his own syndicated talk show where he speaks on behalf of the average guy. How did we let this douche represent us? Did I miss a meeting? For those of you who don't know, Greggy is the author of "He's Just Not That Into You," a book that supposedly "reveals" the secrets of what men are really thinking about the women they date. If you're interested in buying the book (and getting punched), it can be found in the "No Duh" section of your local bookstore.

Lukas and Dilana from "Rockstar: Supernova" Punch or Lunch?

Lunch! Throw in a shower too! These pixies rock. Dilana is shaping up as the frontrunner to win the coveted spot to be the lead singer of Tommy Lee's latest project to suck, "Supernova," and Lukas (Don't call me Lucca Brazzi) Rossi is shaping up for a fine solo career as long as "The Killers" remain popular. Together these two are the most entertaining contestants on an otherwise bland show. Let's be honest here, they barely stack up to the final five from last season's "Rockstar: INXS." Me? I'll take Jordis and Marty (listen to "Trees" below) over anybody from this season, but ya gotta give it up for these two smurfs. Just how tall are they? When they stand next to Brooke Burke (see side), they pale in comparison, and Brook is a small woman! Side note: Nice crotch shot Dilana. You let your website publish that? Damn girl! Oh, and is it me or can you just picture her passed out naked in a bathtub with a needle hanging from her arm? Now that's rock n roll!

For your consideration:
Marty Casey & Lovehammers - Trees Mp3

And finally, customer service employees at Best Buy. Punch or Lunch?

PUNCH! There are three things wrong with the above picture. The first thing wrong with the picture is that the shelves are stocked with product to sell. The second thing is that the employee of Best Buy actually looks like he knows what he is talking about. And finally, the third thing wrong with this picture is that he is even in it! Have you tried to buy anything from "Best Buy" lately? Good luck with that amigo. Unless you know exactly what you want, and you can find it yourself, don't even bother going through the front door. They seem to be more concerned with checking your receipt as you exit the store than helping you decipher which DVD recorder is best for your home. Here is Best Buy's idea of customer service:

Customer (exasperated after a twenty minute wait): Excuse me, I'm looking for a DVD recorder.

Best Buy Employee: (looks up from his Blackberry): Uhhh, they're over there.

End of story. If you can punch an entire store, do it. I'm just sayin'

So, what do you think? Let me hear from you!

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