totally claimin': Friday Afternoon Funnies: Reno 911!

Ridin' down the highway! Goin' to a show. Stop in all the byways, Playin' rock 'n' roll. Gettin' robbed. Gettin' stoned. Gettin' beat up. Broken boned. Gettin' had. Gettin' took. I tell you folks, It's harder than it looks! It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll! It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll! There's a destination a little up the road From the habitations and the towns we know. A place we saw the lights turn low. Jig-saw jazz and the get-fresh flow. Pulling out jives and jamboree handouts. Two turntables and a microphone. Bottles and cans and just clap your hands and just clap your hands! Where it's at? I got two turntables and a microphone. Take me home in my elevator bones! (That was a good drum break.) What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing? Can't you tell that your tie's too wide? Maybe I should buy some old tab collars? Welcome back to the age of jive. Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey? You can't dress trashy till you spend a lot of money. Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me. There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold And she's buying a stairway to heaven. And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed. With a word she can get what she came for. And she's buying a stairway to heaven. Baby, baby why can't you sit still? Who killed that bird out on you window sill? Are you the reason that he broke his back? Did I see you laugh about that? If I come on like a dream? Would you let me show you what I mean? If you let me come on inside? Will you let it glide? Can I have some remedy? Remedy for me please. Cause if I had some remedy I'd take enough to please me. Money, get away. Get a good job with more pay and you're okay. Money it's a gas! Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash! New car, caviar, four star daydream, Think I'll buy me a football team. Money get back! I'm alright Jack keep your hands off my stack. Money it's a hit. Don't give me that do goody good bullshit! Oh, baby child... It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky. It's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight. They say the sun is sometimes eclipsed by a moon. You know I don't see you when she walks in the room. It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help. It's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else. They say a secret is something you tell one other person So I'm telling you, child. A man will beg, A man will crawl, On the sheer face of love, Like a fly on a wall. It's no secret at all! Im ahead, Im a man. Im the first mammal to wear pants, yeah. Im at peace with my lust. I can kill cause in God I trust, yeah. Its evolution, baby! Im at piece, Im the man! Buying stocks on the day of the crash! On the loose, Im a truck. All the rolling hills, Ill flatten em out, yeah. Its herd behavior, uh huh, Its evolution, baby! Load up on guns, Bring your friends, Its fun to lose, And to pretend, Shes overboard, Myself assured, I know I know, A dirty word, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello! With the lights out its less dangerous! Here we are now, Entertain us! I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now, Entertain us! A mulatto, An albino, A mosquito, My libido, Yea! Is it my imagination, Or have I finally found something worth living for? I was looking for some action, But all I found was cigarettes and alcohol You could wait for a lifetime, To spend your days in the sunshine. You might as well do the white line, Cos when it comes on top . . . You gotta make it happen! Sorry Bout The Things That I Had To Say And I'll Make It Up To You Right Now At The Penny Arcade. In An Open Car Or Wherever You Are Push Yourself Too Hard And It Might Get Hot. Well I Really Don't Need The Confusion, And You Know I Just Ain't The Type, To Get All Wrapped Up In The Illusion Of Doin Something That I Know Ain't Right - Right Right??? You've Got To Want To Re-Arrange And Keep It Off The Record. Off The Record. You've Got To Know That We Will Change And Keep It Off The Record. Off The Record. We'll be fighting in the streets, With our children at our feet. And the morals that they worship will be gone. And the men who spurred us on, Sit in judgement of all wrong. They decide and the shotgun sings the song. I'll tip my hat to the new constitution. Take a bow for the new revolution. Smile and grin at the change all around, Pick up my guitar and play. Just like yesterday. Then I'll get on my knees and pray, We don't get fooled again!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Friday Afternoon Funnies: Reno 911!

It's four thirty in the afternoon. You've done your week's work, and there's still an hour and a half to kill before you go home for the weekend. Throw on your headphones and kill some time with Totally Claimin's "Friday Afternoon Funnies!" The boss won't know, and you'll be thankful for it! Today's funny is the first episode of Comedy Central's "Reno 911!"

According to Wikipedia, Reno 911! "is in some respects a parody of the long-running television show COPS. The show features the fictional members of the fictional Reno Sheriff's Department (a non-existent law enforcement body created so as not to offend the Reno Police Department or Washoe County Sheriffs Department), who are videotaped during the course of their duties, sometimes addressing the camera directly as though being interviewed. The force also has problems with racism, unrequited attractions, promiscuity, passive-aggressive feuds, drug use, and other dysfunctional troubles that supply much of the show's humor."

Here's how it all started: "Facing a shortage of criminal suspects, Lt. Dangle declares a zero-tolerance policy, only to find himself becoming the first criminal when he rear-ends a civilian's car. Fortunately, he discovers evidence of a crime in the car's trunk."

So spend your Friday afternoon seeing how it all began, then go out tonight and see their new film which opens today called "Reno 911!: Miami." Here's the trailer for the film, and enjoy this week's Totally Claimin "Friday Afternoon Funny!

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