Friday Afternoon Funnies: Heat Vision and Jack

It's four thirty in the afternoon. You've done your week's work, and there's still an hour and a half to kill before you go home for the weekend. Throw on your headphones and kill some time with Totally Claimin's "Friday Afternoon Funnies!" The boss won't know. And you'll be thankful for it! Today's funny never made it to the television airwaves, but has developed quite a cult following on the net and bootlegged dvds, and with all this talk of crazy astronauts lately, I thought it was an timely pick. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the wonder of "Heat Vision and Jack!"

As a testament as to why Network television executives suck, read the following description about the pilot, and try to figure out how, with all that talent involved, this show never made it. Perhaps in retrospect I'm glad it didn't. Tenacious D might not have ever been the best band in the world, and Ben Stiller might not have, ummm, let's just stick with "The D" part, ok?

"Heat Vision and Jack was a proposed 1999 comedy/sci-fi television show starring Jack Black, Owen Wilson, and Ron Silver. Christine Taylor and Vincent Schiavelli guest starred in the pilot episode, the only episode filmed. The show was directed by Ben Stiller.

While the Fox Network didn't pick up the show, the pilot gained an online following. The show was written and executive produced by Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab, of Scud: The Disposable Assassin, Channel 101, and "Dead Alewives" fame.

Black plays Jack Austin, a former astronaut who was exposed to inappropriate levels of solar energy, giving him superintelligence. His catchphrases are "I know EVERYTHING!" and "Knowledge is power... for real. Wilson voices Heat Vision, a talking motorcycle. He was created when Jack's roommate Doug was shot by a ray, causing him to merge with his motorcycle. He is capable of speech and can fight by ramming into opponents. He is unable to use doorknobs and is unable to right himself if pushed over, however. Ron Silver, portrays "Ron Silver" the main villain. He works for NASA, and will stop at nothing to capture or kill Jack Austin." Wikipedia